A reality slap!

I'm over it!  I've had my tantrum, thrown my toys out of the cot and freaked out......and now I can go on again....Paul on the other hand, might need therapy!  But thats what you get from taking on someone who has years of baggage.......several jam packed suitcases full of shite!  Its not like he wasnt warned either..... I did mention it on our first date....I said....."I dont do ironing and I have loads of issues"......ok so I do iron his things now (god he is good at changing people) and well, he is helping me sort through the issues.

But I have realised something this week, and that is that there does come a point in our lives when WE need to just let it go, and honestly, move on.  It doesnt matter who is right, who is wrong, what the story is, because at the end of the day, its the truth that counts!  Thanks once again to the wise words of my incredible mother, when she said to me this week, "what are you worried about?  You know what the truth and reality is, so what does it matter?"......... She is right, I do know the truth, and everything else doesnt matter, I need to move past it.  However, what is hard, is actually plucking up the courage and moving on.

 All too often we get comfortable in our situations, even if they are down right nasty, because we know how to deal with them as they stand.  Ask any women why they stay in an abusive situation, and they have absolutely no idea.  Just like I have no idea why I allow myself to be upset by things and people from the past.

For me however, it comes down to control......call me a freak, but I like to know things are under control.  Whether I have it or someone else has it under control, I like to know its being managed........but its becoming apparent to me as I get older, and I have this sneaky suspicion that no one is in control......we just like to think we are!! Its a bit of a slap in the face (like with a big fish) when you finally realise that you have absolutely no control over anything.  Not your life, not those of your loved ones, not your chidrens lives and certainly not the lives of your family and friends.  Zero.  Nothing.  Its out of your control.  Phew.  Big smack!

And so, I have resigned myself to the fact that although I dont always agree with things, there is absoluetly nothing I can do to change them.  All I can do it sit back and hope that the truth previals and that everything will work out for the best in the end.


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